into the world: East African Bus Lessons

From Rwanda, it took five days to reach Lake Malawi. Five days, four buses, six minivans, two bicycles, countless near collisions, a couple very sore butts and the country of Tanzania. Each day was its own epic. To look on the bright side, we came up with some valuable lessons that only a good East African road trip can teach you. Here they are:

Did you know that you indeed can fit fourteen people in a seven passenger minivan? Even if four of these people weigh more than 280 pounds? We learned this monumental fact. We also learned that if you are transporting illegal Congolese refugees, you need an 'escort' in Tanzania. Unless you bribe policemen at the checkposts along the way.

We learned that its OK to overtake another bus blindly when barreling down the pothole ridden road at 90 mph. We found out what a semi trailer full of Roma tomatoes looks like after it blindly overtakes a bus and has a head on collision and flips two times.

We learned that when your bus is caught in a 10 mile traffic jam next to a refugee mining camp, the inhabitants like to surround you and stare. For hours.

We learned that hard boiled eggs are better than the alternative, which is no meal at all, and that the human body can sustain itself on them soley for fifteen straight meals.

We learned all about deep vein thrombosis and that luckily it doesn't effect you if you are already smashed between six people and can't breath.

We learned that the best way for an underpaid bus driver to make money is to purposefully pop his own tire and collect a bribe from the tire dealer who is paid by the bus owner in a another city. Confusing? It was for us too, but we had plenty of time to think about it on one of our 16 breakdowns...that day (seriously).

We learned that scumbag guys who try to sell you fake bus tickets are good at carrying heavy backpacks to far away hotels while they think you are listening to them.

We learned all about breastfeeding: that it can be done while standing in the aisle as the bus takes a corner at 35 mph and that both mother and baby are quite good at 'hanging on'.

We learned that illegal money changers are not very good at math. We also learned that they don't have to be when the bills they exchange were printed on a 1986 Xerox.

And the most important lesson of all? Overland travel in Africa is a good way to see locals, but a better way to bruise your butt so badly you can't sit again for two weeks.

All jokes aside, we did have a great time seeing Tanzania and meeting some local people. We held babies, scooted chickens out of the way and did it with smiles on our faces.

Breakfast, lunch and dinner. Either eggs or old dried fish..